by cody sjomeling
(Mandan, North Dakota, U.S.)
when there is nothing, there is him. he who waits. he who loves, he who forgives, oh forgive me my lord.
forgive me not trusting in you forgive me for blocking you forgive me for not letting you perform your plan.
each sin gets you farther away and farther to where i don't see, and i am blind. blind to what the world could be. blind to what
the world could be i beg you to forgive me for mocking you. forgive me for testing you. i am ashamed, i am hurt, i
feel resentment towards everything i know because the one thing i should know is not controlling my life.
but my self pity and self conscience and self doubt is. i am confused on who and what i am. will you shine through me
to show me the path to what i could be because i am your creation and you are our father. i want to make you proud
i want to make you smile. i want to make others smile and myself humble and not arrogant. arrogant because
i am thinking about me when i should be thinking about you. please please forgive me. i am lost. i know with you there is comfort
i know with you there is hope. i know with you there is love, i know with you i can be me, and be the person
that i am supposed to be. the one that will be great because i want to be like you. the one that will
put a godly hand on everything around me because everything i see is because of you, and i will honor everything you
created and be grateful that i am breathing, be grateful that i have a home, be grateful that i have loving parents,
be grateful that there are other christians that i can share the word of god with, i must take advantage and also
spread the truth to all who don't know. somehow make them believe, and open their eyes to the real beauty
of everything we know. please lord give me the strength to spread your word and help me unlock the real potential
of this world we know. i am a sinner, but everyday i want to sin less and less, which in turn gives me more of you.
the more of you i have the more i can perform your duties and slowly put your print on everything.
i know tomorrow may be hard. but with you it could be a little easier or it can so much better than i ever thought it could be
will you shine through me tomorrow? and everyday and forgive me and help me find myself through you. through you
the trees are growing, through you the river is flowing, through you our smile is glowing. no more darkness
controls what we know, but rather light that show us the road. the road to the glory, the road to the holy, the road to
to the kingdoms of which we dream, we as christians must be the team, to stomp the darkness and all that seems,
evil and sinful and not godly. as i sit here a sinner, not thinking i will ever be a winner, than i think of you
it makes me feel new. but it also makes me feel blue, blue as in how could i do that, how could i only trust you when i was as low as the floor mat, getting stomped on by the demons and
trampled with reasons. why should you forgive why should you forsake, when all i do is keep making the same mistake. do i not learn? i have heard and i should know i should believe i should proceed with all of you in me. in me to where i can see. see the world as what it is,
or what it could be, what could it be is what we must ask, yes sometimes it may be a hard task, because all we want to do is
wear a mask. we hide from the truth for what it holds, because we are scared to see it unfold. yes that is the plan that we
all hear. but ignore it from ear to ear. what must we do to be fully with you, what must i do to see the blessing anew
i want to hear you and feel you and know you and trust you, and believe that you are the way. the only way.
the only way to life. may you bless us with life please shower your glory upon us i beg you let it shine through us
i give you the ropes, i am powerless without you. i cannot live without you. please forgive me so
i know what to do, so you can direct me. heal me. heal my soul, heal my body, heal my mind. i know there is not
much time, i know it could be a hard climb, i know others will think, i know others will judge, but i must never hold a grudge
the grudge leads to hate, which could affect our fate, our fate of our lives in the hands of the one, the almighty, and he who will
be celebrated with praise, love and cheers heard for miles upon miles, 'til we no longer hear them but hear them in heart
blessed be the name, the one who truly deserves all the fame. help me wake up, help me not give up, give me the hand
of the love that i can feel at all times and realize this is the day i say all to you i will worship god almighty everywhere i go
and call his name to everything and everyone in need, in need of affection, in need of the doubting and to the ones like me who were pouting
and shouting because i was selfish because i was greedy because i was wishing for something instead of praying.
the praying that can be heard, that can be blessed if it be for his will. but if not do not lie still and do nothing
if one door closes than another opens, seize every moment. let make the most of it, lets get to know him, let us know you like never before
our father, our lord, yes you are holy yes you are holy, words cant describe how grateful i am of your grace, wow i
cannot wait to see your face, the tears will come down, but right now i no longer feel like that clown that was dancing around
dancing with the devil, and i pray i will never dance with him again, i feel whole i feel new, oh what a joy oh what a joy
now come with me and lets us spread the truth i beg you to come with because god is not dead but he is alive, living in
us, now just let him steer that bus and don't lose the faith, amen to the almighty and one true god!