Mrs Butterworth

by Dennis Bazzell
(Fenton MO.)

Strangers and pilgrims on the earth

Not as famous as Mrs. Butterworth

Not as strong as Mr. Clean

Cannot sing like Jimmy Dean

Who am I? I ask myself

Feeling small as a Keebler Elf

Instant replay of my life

Shows I’m more like Barney Fife

If just once I could soar across the sky

And save Polly Purebred before I die

Or have a heart to heart with Mr. Ed

Just once or twice before I’m dead

If I could only belt a baseball

Or make a deal with Monty Hall

I would laugh and dance and sing

Ali couldn’t touch me in the ring

To my ego it seems so vital

To perform on American Idol

I don’t necessarily have to win

Just know I’m loved by Rin Tin Tin

Popeye says, “I am what I am”

But maybe he’d rather be Superman

If we really knew the truth

Clark Kent may have longed to be Babe Ruth

What do you think Babe Ruth would want?

To be Abe Lincoln or General Grant?

If I could be any or all of these things

I’d have to give up my own blessings

All good things come from above

I wouldn’t have all the stuff I love

My wife, my kids or even my cat

I hadn’t thought much about that

To be someone else you take the whole package

Their problems, worries and psychological baggage

Superman puts up a pretty good fight

But probably has nightmares about kryptonite

I have a sneaking hunch

Underdog has Alpo for lunch

I am the child God has spoiled

Or I would be married to Olive Oil

Though I’m not fast as Ricochet Rabbit

Being me has become a habit

Godliness with contentment, that's great gain

Anything else is just insane

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